Let’s Talk About Adoption

by Brenda on

Let’s talk about adoption.  Y’all see the cute photos of our adopted kids, but besides that, I am not vocal enough and don’t advocate enough for orphans. This is not meant to be a guilt trip. I hope God uses this post to stir your heart and move you towards adoption.

To those who don’t have little kids in your home anymore, just teens, or adult kids—there is an orphan who needs you. You can make a huge difference in their life. I know it would change your lifestyle completely—I get it. Please pray about this though.

Some important numbers:
There are 153 MILLION orphans in the world at this time.
There are almost 108,000 children in the foster care system in the United States waiting for a forever family.

Myth/Truth: Adoption is expensive. TRUE. If you want a newborn infant, or if you plan to go overseas to adopt, you will spend $30,000 to $50,000, including travel expenses. However, if you adopt an older child or a special needs child, the cost could be anywhere from $1,500 to well under $10,000.

Truth: Raising adopted kiddos is hard work. It is not like having a bio baby who bonds to you from the start. When there has been neglect, trauma, and possible substance exposure in the womb, parenting these kiddos can be rough—every single day. And yet——-in the midst of the hard stuff (that you cannot even see in our photos and I don’t share about here), I still encourage all of you, ADOPT! 

Why this is on my mind today:
I noticed that on some different Waiting Child lists, there are some of the *same* kiddos on there who were on there over 3 years ago, before we adopted our youngest. Either multiple agencies are totally delinquent in updating their lists, or—guys, these kids have been without a family—for all of those 3 years, plus…That makes me SO SAD.

Also, God has put it on my heart for a very long time to someday adopt a child with Down Syndrome. Every now and then I look what kids are available. It struck me today that, in our country there are kiddos with Down syndrome who are 17 years old who need a family. 17! They are about to age out of the foster care system and they have no family. I am heart broken for these kids. These kids have NO ADOPTION FEE. Their total adoption would cost about $1,500 to maybe $3,000 (a home study). If I didn’t already have a 17 year old plus 4 younger kids, I would do this in a heartbeat! It costs $1,500 to completely change a kid’s life!

How do I recommend adopting? I will share some links of sites to check out.

Agencies we have worked with:
The Boys and Girls’ Aid Society https://www.boysandgirlsaid.org/
PLAN (No longer in business, their program has been taken over by Christian Family Adoptions) https://www.christianfamilyadoptions.org/

For a Free/Cheap Adoption:
DHS (Please—only take in kids who are “Legally Free,” if you want to adopt, do not take a child into your home who is “Legal Risk” or you will likely face heartbreak).

Here are the waiting, harder to place kids in the Oregon foster care system: https://www.nwae.org/children.php?tn=3

A Family for Every Child does home studies for special needs adoptions for $1,500 (special needs=older child, sibling groups, kids who were exposed to substances in the womb, learning delays, etc. This is a broad term.). There is a gallery of waiting kids on their site: https://www.afamilyforeverychild.org/

If you’re interested in Down Syndrome adoption & those kiddos who have zero adoption fee: https://www.ndsan.org/

This agency has waived their agency fee for adopting kids with Down syndrome from China: https://cradlehope.org/ (So that the total cost including travel would be around $23,000 instead of $40,000-$50,000).

Before we adopted Briella, we were part of the Colombia adoption program through this agency: http://lifelinechild.org/ and we liked them.

I have also been in contact with this agency in the past: https://allgodschildren.org/ and considered going through them.

The waiting kids in this country and others are posted here: https://www.rainbowkids.com/

Sometimes kids are adopted and for some reason they don’t work out in a family. Sometimes (often) they take out all of the anger they feel on their adoptive mom. Sometimes their behaviors start to divide a marriage. Sometimes they don’t mesh with the siblings. Sometimes they abuse other kids in the family (because awful things were obviously done to them) and they need to be in a home with no younger children. Sometimes they feel so insecure that they make everything about them, always, and the other kids in the family suffer. Sometimes a child has more severe special needs/medical/learning issues than a family was prepared to take on. Each situation is unique, and I am not judging those who make this decision—some families come to the desperate place of needing to dissolve the adoption and find a new family for this child. Some of these kiddos (with more than average special needs, typically) are listed here: https://www.facebook.com/secondchanceadoptions/These adoptions would cost less than $7,000. It’s called Second Chance Adoptions, because really, some of these kids, for some reason, become like a new person for their new family, and many of their issues go away. We don’t know why this happens, but it truly is like a fresh, second chance for their life.

Please pray about adoption! I wish so many more people would adopt! Message me if you have any questions! I hope this is post encourages you to consider the orphan who might be out there waiting for YOU! 

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